Honour amongst Thieves

It is well known the Nigeria is one of the most corrupt places on the planet earth. So consequently it is not surprising that almost no one trusts anyone else.

Looking at an expatriate web site that many of us use here to keep abreast of “happenings” around the area I came across the following report which showed that even the armed robbers do not trust themselves.

I thought it was quite amusing!

Last night, about 22h30 on 25 June, the " Bangkok " restaurant in VI was robbed by five men. There were only two customers in the restaurant at the time of the robbery. At least two of the robbers had sawed-off shotguns, and there reportedly was one AK-47. Upon entering the compound, the robbers closed the gates, and then took control of all the staff and the two customers at gun point, having all lay face down on the floor.. The robbers were well informed, and were searching for the restaurant manager by name, in the expectation that he would open the safe for them. They threatened to shoot the cook in the head if he did not open the safe, but apparently became convinced that he really did not know the combination. In the absence of the manager, they stole cell phones, jewellery, and cash from staff and customers.

The apparent leader of the group was a politely spoken older man, who asked each victim to tell him what had been taken from them. He then inventoried the assembled loot, apparently to ensure that none of his gang kept anything themselves.

The robbers spent nearly 40 minutes in the restaurant, and even had the cook prepare take-away food for them.

No one was injured in the robbery, nor was any shots fired. The robbers escaped in two B M Ws. The vehicles were brought by the gang, and none of the vehicles parked in the compound were stolen.

Wonderful Reading

Reading the local newspapers makes dismal reading.

The nation may be heading for total darkness any time from now as workers at Kainji and Shiroro dams are set to join the ongoing industrial action, says one.

Another says, The Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria said it had taken steps to ensure the safety of lives and properties at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos. (Someone is expecting trouble)

Then we have the news that the Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria (PENGASSAN) has directed its members in export terminals and production platforms to shut down operations from yesterday in continuation of the strike to protest the last increase in fuel prices and sale of the Port Harcourt and Kaduna refineries.

So there we have it.

If the strike threatens the Oil Industry one can expect the Government to start wielding the big stick, for without oil revenue this place just will not work at all.

Last night the television was warning people to stock up on food and supplies as the effects of the strike start to bite. Taking heed of this I popped up to the supermarket and purchased a crate of Whisky. Lest face it, if the water goes off I will need something in bottles that will not “go off” in the heat. Whisky seems a good bet.

Luckily, I am right beside the ocean here so even if food becomes scarce there sure are plenty of fish in the sea. The fishing methods here are primitive so stocks are plentiful. As much prawn and fish as one could wish to have.

It’s just a matter of slinging a line in the water and you are guaranteed a bite.

I think I may even pop down the market tonight and buy a bunch of live chickens and let them wonder around in the gardens of our Lekki Office.

So there we have it, if I survive the violence that this strike is bound to invoke, if I survive cirrhosis of the liver due to the lack of water, I may just succumb to Bird Flu.

Have a good weekend.

Strike Still On

The Government’s attempt to appease the Union Leaders by cancelling the VAT increase, paying the increased wages backdated to January and removing 5 Naira from the pump price of fuel has failed. Unions are insisting that fuel prices be reduced to the level they were at before the latest increase and also the sale of the refineries to be stopped.

So here we have a standoff with neither side willing to give any more ground.

The unions have threatened to extend the strike, which has already crippled most sectors of the economy, to include essential services such as water and power.

Newspaper reports make grim reading, telling of folks leaving hospitals to be treated by local herbalist because the doctors in the hospitals are on strike.

We have expats stuck on rigs because the helicopters are not flying. Their back to backs are stuck in the Sheraton hotel drinking beer so every cloud has a silver lining for some.

The Federal Government are now threatening to invoke labour laws to prevent picketing and harassment of people who wish to work. The Inspector General of Police is making threats into the bargain so it could become quite ugly.

Guess it is time to go to the pub for a beer.

Petrol Shortages and Strikes

Although one of the world’s largest oil producers it is a sad fact that all Petrol is imported, our refineries do not work, and fuel shortages are not all that uncommon. Normally caused by a dispute somewhere in the supply chain they normally last for a few days and then things revert back to normal.

These shortages cause great distress to the local population; commuter fares rise dramatically and those people lucky enough to own cars are forced to queue in line at fuel stations for hours and sometimes days at a time. Expatriates are shielded from the distress because we all have drivers who we send to buy fuel from the black market or queue in line if it looks as though they may make the front of the line within a few hours.

So the present tanker driver strike is causing the usual amount of misery to our local population.

However, this shortage may just be more prolonged than normal.

The Union leaders here are hell bent on calling a National strike because of a showdown between the Unions and the Federal Government. Just before leaving office, the previous President increased the pump price of fuel by N15 and doubled the VAT rate from 5% to 10%. In addition the previous Government had announced the sale of the Kaduna and Port Harcourt refineries and had failed to implement a pay rise for the workers.

Needless to say, the labour leaders saw the chance to challenge the new Government, demanding that the fuel and VAT rise be scrapped, the refinery sales be stopped and the pay rise to the workers to be implemented. Failure to do this will result in a general strike.

Now whilst all these things may seem fair to the workers who are barely making ends meet; one wonders how the new President feels when directly challenged after just a few days in office.

If he backs down and reverses the changes, the chances are the labour leaders will take that as a sign of weakness and challenge him on a multitude of other issues. (And believe me they have enough issues to choose from)

If the President insists on leaving things as they are, the labour leaders will prolong the strike to try and break the Government’s resolve.

It is an ugly situation with an uncertain outcome.

Let us just hope that a compromise can be reached; for it is certain that a prolonged strike will affect the ordinary person far more than it will ever affect the union leaders or the politicians, who like those found everywhere, have already made sure of their own comfort and security.

What a Mixed Bunch

I was sat in the Abuja Transcorp Hilton having a quick lunch. Being on my own I had selected a table for one in the smoking area and was idly looking around the restaurant.

Being the Capital City and home of the Government the place is full of politicians, lobbyist, crooks, thieves and businessmen at all times of the day and night. I had never given it much thought before, but what a mixed bunch they were.

The number of languages being spoken and the ability of the staff and customers to make themselves understood was remarkable.

I was sat against a large double glazed window and could faintly hear a Mosque calling the faithful to prayer. Obviously so could the guy next to me for I could see him silently repeating whatever the Imam was singing out.

That got me to thinking about how many different religions were represented in the room. Certainly the guy next to me was some kind of Muslim.

As these thought were moving around my mind, the waitress delivered my BBQ Pork Chops quickly followed by a waiter to deliver a pint of foaming ale. One would have thought the Muslim guy may have turned his nose up at what was placed on my table being as most all of it is banned within his culture.

Our eyes happened to meet and he mouthed Bon Apetit.

Looking around the restaurant it seemed everyone else was also in a give and take mood, regardless if the food was eaten with a fork in either hand or indeed people using simply their fingers to consume whatever their culture allowed.

Now if only the whole world could operate like that.

Heard in the Pub

Slipped into the pub earlier and the shapely young lass behind the bar asked where my other half was.

I replied that she was out spending my money.

She then proceeded to explain to me that I should be happy because I have only three things to spend my money on.

1. MY WIFE
2. MY GIRLFRIEND
3. MY BEER

I guess the attitude to life by the womenfolk here is somewhat different than expressed at home.

I think I like it!

Rudely Awakened

Have you ever wakened during the night, heard sounds that you know are not normal, and generally though “what the hell is going on?”

Well it happened to me about 3:30 this morning.

Is that gunfire? Is it close by?

Unfortunately the answer was yes in both cases.

The unmistakable sound of automatic weapons being fired just outside your windows wakes you up in a very unpleasant manner.

Armed robbers had beat up the gate guards and forced their way into the hotel compound in order to rob some person that lives here and apparently deals in diamonds.

Of course I didn’t discover that until daylight this morning so the old heart beat was raised a couple of notches for a while.

This is supposed to be a safe area, yet I have to admit that during the incident my thoughts were somewhat different.

Guess these things are going to happen now and again. All is well that ends well. No one was seriously hurt in the physical sense so I shall just forget about the whole thing. It was obviously a targeted raid, not just random violence which unfortunately is rife in other parts of the country; however, how long we remain “safe” here is a point of conjecture amongst the expatriate population.

Plans of Mice and Men

Well so much for going out for the day!

Like the bloody fool I am, the first thing I did on Saturday morning was check my email boxes. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I checked my work box as well, only to find replies to an Invitation to Tender that I sent out a couple of weeks ago.

Needless to say it was dark before I had finished!

It wasn’t all bad though, I was working by the French doors to the balcony overlooking the locals as they went about their business. Opening the doors for a while to catch the sunshine and sliding them closed to take advantage of the air conditioning when the sun got too much.

We have many goats wondering around the area. It was amusing to see the antics of these creatures as they foraged for food, crawled under cars to escape the heat, climb up walls for whatever reason, or just lay around in the center of the road causing vehicles to drive around them. I am left wondering who owns the bloody things. They look good enough to BBQ to me.

I have spent many a Saturday morning looking out of my windows at home and I can say only one thing. I preferred the antics of the goats to the activities of the druggies that use the phone box outside my pad as their office.

Yes, this is the third world, but I prefer goats to drug pushers and their customers any day of the week.

T.G.I.F

That is another week over but this weekend is only two days not like the last one which had two public holidays attached. It is probably a good job as my body is screaming for a rest.
I didn’t go to the local pub this evening as they were having yet another mad themed party. Whereas back home I avoid them because they always seem to involve Karaoke singers and is akin to torture; here I avoided it because I want to stay dry and clean. Yes you guessed it, another bloody wet T-shirt competition and a bunch of female mud wrestlers. Yes you know you have landed in the right spot when you feel able to ignore that.
Tomorrow will be another fine hot sunny day and we have the desperately hard decision as to what we will do. Laze by the pool, go to the beach, take a boat trip out to one of the islands, go sailing, go to the motor boat club, go fishing or just go to the pub and have a good time.
This is so unlike my normal Saturdays at home where the choice never seemed so attractive. I have to be honest it would have probably been a choice between Lidl’s and some other shopping paradise!
It is remarkable that I have not suffered home sickness since my arrival here!